i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize