wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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