I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
