VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
