I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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