Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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