What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
