i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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