I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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