True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
