Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
