She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
