I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
