Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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