She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
