What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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