Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
