Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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