Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize