We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
