then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
