Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize