Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
