Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
