There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I checked into jail on foursquare
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
