the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
