just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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