those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
