Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
