That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
