It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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