I puked a lego.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
