Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize