I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
