Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
