what day is it and did you see me today?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
