Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
