she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
