The maid of honor just puked.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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