Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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