His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
