i think my mom watched the whole time
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
