Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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