just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
