You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I am one with the molecules
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize