I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
