She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
