i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Randomize
