I heard we made out
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
