I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I understand Curling. That high.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize