Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
