I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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