Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
