Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
