im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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