Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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