I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
