Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
operation harelip BJ is a go
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
