After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize